6 Things to Know About Women and Sex
Women are Just as “Dirty” as Men
It’s a Team Sport. (Also Known as Variety is the Spice of Life)
Foreplay: Setting the Stage for What You Want
Stage One: Talking and Texting to Plant the Seed
14 Texts You Can Use to Turn Her On
Foreplay Pointers from a Female Perspective
8 Tips into Foreplay for Females
Tricks to Making Her Purr Like a Kitten
Making Contact: The Whole Package
Changing Up Your Oral Experiences
Penetration Techniques and Positions
Simple, Mind-Blowing Penetration Technique
How to Introduce the Topic of Kink to Your Partner
17 Ways to “Kinkify” Your Encounters
A Free Gift To Say Thank You
As my way of saying “thank you” for buying my book I wanted to put together an awesome free gift for you.
The Aphrodisiac Recipe Cookbook
Some people say cooking is the way to heart, so I wanted to put together some recipes that will spice up your love life, fuel your passion and add gasoline to the fire of your relationship.
Enjoy,
Aubrey
Contents
6 Things to Know About Women and Sex
Women are Just as “Dirty” as Men
It’s a Team Sport. (Also Known as Variety is the Spice of Life)
Foreplay: Setting the Stage for What You Want
Stage One: Talking and Texting to Plant the Seed
14 Texts You Can Use to Turn Her On
Foreplay Pointers from a Female Perspective
8 Tips into Foreplay for Females
Tricks to Making Her Purr Like a Kitten
Making Contact: The Whole Package
Changing Up Your Oral Experiences
Penetration Techniques and Positions
Simple, Mind-Blowing Penetration Technique
How to Introduce the Topic of Kink to Your Partner
17 Ways to “Kinkify” Your Encounters
Sex may be one of the most universal of human experiences, yet there are invariably complications when you have to add another person into the satisfaction equation.
Sure, you can go it alone, but what’s the fun in that? A partner does make release all that much more enjoyable, but when the woman you’re with seems to have a different set of rules for pleasure, it can make sex more work than fun.
This book is here to help you rewrite your bedroom playbook to ensure that you get the most from your efforts and leave both you and your partner exceedingly satisfied.
To start, we take a peek behind the curtain of the female mind and explore how women really get off. Think of sex like an auto race. You begin by understanding the type of race you are entering and develop a race plan. As the race day approaches, you find your excitement building as you make preparations to capture your own checkered flag. This is the element of foreplay. You set the stage for victory even before you get in the race car. Not only does it get you excited to plan, fantasize, and prepare, but it will also inevitably get your lady’s motor humming and helps rev both of your engines, be it with a little dirty talk to set the stage or a full scale sex fantasy come to life.
Once the proverbial green flag waves, it becomes a matter of maximizing your sexual strategies to bring home the checkered flag. Hot sex is more than simply getting into a woman and getting off. It is a complete sensory experience that is truly a full contact sport. Your playbook for steamy sex will include oral sex as well as various sexual positions and techniques that will leave you both begging for more…once you catch your breath, that is.
The final lap in your race to the best sex of your life is an advanced level. We’ll call it Kink 101. It includes everything from spicing your sex life up with toys and role playing to making your lady’s interest in the 50 Shades of Grey become anything but fiction. In fact, you’ll finish this book with the ability to blow your woman’s mind and banish Christian Grey from her head forever. When you’re done, she’ll only have your name in her mind and shouts of “MORE” coming from her lips.
Men often talk about women as being complicated.
The real complication isn’t really the female quirks that cause confusion. The problem is that there are some basics about female sexuality that are not readily discussed.
Often times, even the women themselves don’t fully understand some of the things they do or feel when it comes to their intimate encounters.
With these six pointers to the female persuasion, you will be able to take some of the drama out of your conquests.
So let’s dive into them on the next page.
For women to truly let their hair down and let it all hang out, they have to trust their partner. It doesn’t matter whether you jump into bed (or wherever you choose to tear it up) on the first date, thirty-seventh date, or the twelfth year of marriage.
A woman has to trust that she is safe to be herself. For women, sex is one of the most vulnerable activities they engage in. Not only is it a matter of being comfortable with being naked with a man, but also it is about feeling comfortable enough to act on her desires.
The quickest way to kill her sex drive is to be judgmental about anything. The best way to turn up the heat is to encourage her to talk about what she wants and likes. Yes, talking isn’t necessarily at the top of the list when you want to have sex, but women are wired for communication. Love it or hate it, it’s a simple fact. A little bit of talk, even if it is laced with innuendos and dirty phrases, can actually make sex easier and more enjoyable because when she feels she can trust you, she’ll spill the beans on what makes her hot. She then feels closer, and you remove the guesswork.
Win-win.
Although it is widely known and accepted that men engage in locker room talk that would burn the ears of most females in their lives, the fact is, women do the same thing. Close friends and sisters are known to talk about it all. Trust me, real girl talk would make many males’ faces turn red and jaws hit the floor.
If you have a kinky side and have developed trust and communication, don’t be surprised to learn that the female wallflower you think you know has fantasies of starring in your own private champagne room strip down or has a little toy or two in her bedside table.
In fact, the trust element in #1 is critical to unleashing the dirtier side of your partner. Instead of hiding your interest in porn or other things, share it with your partner. You’ll be surprised how many women are okay with such things when you are upfront with them. It’s the secrecy and attempts to hide things from her that make her mad.
Women are naturally competitive with one another. If your attention is directed at another female (especially on the sly), it brings out the witch with a capital B in your mate.
Many women never become comfortable with their sexuality because a large part of society still glorifies the good girl and demonizes the bad girl.
If your partner has a hard time loosening up or expressing her desires, help her relax. The way to do that is to acknowledge that a woman is a complex creature. Complex doesn’t mean complicated. Complicated is drama. Complex is the woman who you can take home to Mom and Mom approves, but then you take that same woman home to bed and she can make your eyes roll to the back of your head with the tricks she uses to pleasure you.
Let her know that you love the fact that she can be all you need publicly while still enjoying burning up the bed. Another important element to those who are concerned about reputation related to sex is that they often have not fully experimented with what turns them on. Don’t be thrown off if you get a knee jerk veto to suggestions initially.
Instead, let your partner know that you are open to experimenting with her while continuing to respect the fact that she may have certain sexual acts that are absolute personal no-go activities.
Conversely, if your partner was viewed as a “bad” girl early on, you may find that she puts up more walls than her “saintly” counterpart. Those who have been viewed negatively for a healthy sex drive will often boomerang in one of two ways. She’ll likely figure you’re like the rest…looking to get off and run. As a result, she may seem impossible to get into bed. In that case, enjoy the challenge and foreplay. When she relaxes, you’ll likely be in for a treat. At the other end of the equation, she may jump into bed quickly and then seem to dare you to get lost immediately. In this case, the extra romantic approach will lower her resistance quicker and have her burning hotter for you.
If you can hold off on the quick trip to the bedroom, you’ll have her sizzling for you faster, too, because you’ll have broken her expectation for the quick lay and run.
Women love to mix it up as much as men do when it comes to sex.
Women also want to be able to both initiate sex as well as simply succumb to an advance. Some men are not good with initiating sex for a variety of reasons, so they look to their partner to initiate all of the time. If that is you, you need to do one of two things. Suck it up and initiate more, or have a frank talk with your partner to explain that you’re not comfortable initiating.
If you’re not initiating, your partner will begin to think you don’t find her desirable or that you are stepping out. She’ll also be likely to resent having to initiate all the time, and nothing puts out the flames of passion faster than resentment. It will make her neurotic and no good will come for either of you from that downward spiral.
On the flipside, if you are the one always initiating, let her take command more. It will empower her to avoid becoming passive and bored (or boring) in the bedroom. Also, it will give her a charge from being the one in command. It should be mixed up to keep the spice going for both partners.
That also goes for the way each session is initiated. Face it, women take longer to rev up then men do. To have mind blowing sex, you have to get your partner to shut down her brain and literally go with the flow and the feel of the moment. If sex becomes nothing more than another item on her to do list, you’ll both simply be going through the motions. One of the easiest ways to avoid that rut is to mix it up. It may mean that one day, you show up on your lunch hour for a “get her done” hump day quickie and the next time, you may spend some time throughout the lead up day sending some steamy sexting comments to make sure that the only thing on her mind when the work day is done is you.
Seriously, it’s not just about being polite.
Yes, you should aim to give your partner at least one orgasm before you get off. There are multiple reasons why this is important. From the physical side, if she comes first, it means she is wetter and her body is primed. There’s nothing worse than fighting dry conditions.
Another reason to get her to go over the top first is both biological as well as a little bit of ego. Women are built to have multiple orgasms. It is as simple as the fact that women have the ability to have both clitoral and vaginal orgasms. Plus, you have to admit that it is a turn on and ego boost to be able to make a woman melt with your skills and not simply because you drill her hard.
Finally, back to one of the previous points, women do talk about what they do. You can be assured you get much higher marks with your partner and her gal clan when she notes that you are “considerate” in how you see to it that she’s properly pleasured…just an FYI.
If you like to keep your encounters discrete, you may be limiting the amount of pleasure your woman experiences.
You actually do want your woman to moan and groan in delight. There is a biological reason. Those low throaty moans and groans serve a greater purpose than signifying that the sex is hot.
Those sounds and the contact that creates them produce oxytocin, the “love molecule” or the “trust hormone” (Yeah, we’re back to the trust thing again). It helps people create a deeper sense of intimacy when it works together with other pleasure hormones.
Although it is also tied to maternal instincts and bonding, it has a bonus for males as well as females. Females feel more comfortable and willing to let themselves go free, while males also benefit from increased arousal.
In fact, an Italian study showed that oxytocin produced from touching, gazing, and moaning also helps men maintain their erections longer. It is considered the main factor for climaxing, and during each orgasm, the brain is flooded with the chemical.
Foreplay is a must for a woman to have a hot and steamy sexual romp. It doesn’t have to be as complicated as you may think.
Granted, foreplay for men can be as easy as a willing woman showing up, so it can seem that women take more work to get in the mood. It’s all in how you define the term work and how willing you are to keep the embers burning rather than trying to immediately start a bonfire every time you try to spark the flame.
So if you’re ready let’s move rapidly onto Stage One.
For women, foreplay falls into two categories.
The first starts hours, if not days, ahead of sex. Seriously. Women typically do not turn on and off like a light switch as men can. You have to get a woman out of her head to enjoy hot sex. If she’s thinking about items on her to do list, she won’t be there for you, even if she is physically there with you.
You don’t want the verbal equivalent of a cold shower when making a move, and she says, “Let’s just get this over with!” because she wants to move on to other tasks.
Foreplay starts by invading her mind so that she’s thinking about being with you. Successful foreplay is not only about the big O, it is also about making sure that her mind is focused on the time you are together. When your partner says something along the lines of “I couldn’t think straight today”, it should be considered a foreplay victory, and be prepared for a fun evening to follow.
The trick is to interrupt your partner’s normal thinking processes. It can include things as simple as random texts or voicemails to let her know you can’t wait until you’re together later.
Don’t just do one and think the job is done. If you stop with one, chances are that she’ll merely roll her eyes, especially if she is busy. You want to keep putting the thought in her mind to replace her internal schedule. You also do not want to be a stalker about it, either. It’s said that, on average, men think about sex every 7 minutes.
Women do not, so don’t go texting or calling every time a thought crosses your mind. Every couple of hours will suffice.
Need some examples of things to say or to send that will get her hot by dinner time?
Here are 14 suggestions for how you can go about teasing your partner into the mood. Again, don’t go overboard sending all of these in a single day. You’ll just look desperate and sex-crazed to her, which is a definite turn off. Aim for 3-4 throughout the course of your day.
- I just left for work but all I can think about is getting back into bed again tonight.
- I want you to wear [fill in the blank for your favorite clothing item] today and think about me all day.
- I want you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
- I love that trick you do with your tongue and can’t wait for you to do it again tonight (Works best when she has no idea which trick you are talking about. Just be sure you have an answer when she asks…she will.)
- What’s your favorite ice cream topping? (Yep, the follow up with be about making her dessert that night.)
- Do you remember [fill in the blank with your reference to a previous hot sex moment]? (The randomness will get her attention.)
- I love to make you scream out with pleasure. (Include the pleasure part. Otherwise, it can be read as a creepy thing.)
- What would it take to make your legs go numb?
- I want you to meet me at the door naked.
- What’s your favorite scent? (This can be a lead up to getting her favorite scented massage oil, lotion, candle, bubble bath…whatever hints at getting her in the mood.)
- I’m skipping [fill in the blank with a usual activity] because all I want to do is [fill in your chosen act] to/with you tonight.
- Thinking of everything I’m going to do to you when I get home.
- Feeling adventurous? I want to try [fill in the blank] tonight.
- All I’m thinking about right now is you sitting on my [fill in the blank].
Even though texting and voicemails can leave a thrill of things to come, your ability to talk dirty to your partner will benefit in the initial stages of sex and all the way through the entire experience.
Dirty talk is actually an intimate experience, even if it seems crass on the surface. When you can talk to your woman with blunt words and bring about anticipation and pleasure, you’ve hit the jackpot in getting that all important trust that lets her drop her defenses and enjoy greater freedom in and out of the bedroom.
You can’t simply begin by blurting out, “I want to f**k you hard.” You definitely can’t do that until you have formed some sort of relationship. Otherwise, the gal you just met would probably reply with, “Go fuck yourself” at the very least.
So, how do you introduce dirty talk into your relationship in a welcome and arousing way? Well, first you need to break the ice…
If you’re unsure about how to bring up the topic of dirty talk or are uncertain about how your woman is going to take the suggestion of vamping things up a notch or ten, you’ll need to use your words to introduce the idea, rather than shooting from the hip and hoping for the best.
Whether you are comfortably sharing a glass of wine and introduce the topic or bring it up at the earliest stages of foreplay. It is important not to introduce the subject right as you’re both about to come. She might overlook the seemingly random blurt in the heat of the moment, but for sustained dirty talk, you will need to ask her straight up about participating.
Start out with something as simple as “I’ve been thinking about talking dirty with you and wanted to know if you’re game for it.” If she’s willing to try, go slowly at first (unless she blows your doors off with her own dirty lexicon), proceed slowly and gauge her level of comfort with the game.
She may be embarrassed at first, but be sure to ask about her level of enjoyment and heed her words. Saying something that angers or disgusts her could cause the closed sign to come out before you even get to the door.
Although it’s really not all that sexy, doing a little homework will pay off.
Ask her what she’d like to hear. Ask her if there are any words that she doesn’t like to hear. Trust, if your go-to phrase is “pussy” and she dislikes the word, the only thing you will be arousing with your choice of words is the claws of her inner cat.
Practice a variety of words and phrases and note her level of comfort with them. Don’t just listen to what she says she’s okay with. Watch her body language, especially if she is shy. Some women may go along, even if they are not completely comfortable. Reassure her that it’s okay not to like certain words or phrases and that you really just want to turn both of you on…no harm, no foul. There is no magic bullet, and every person is different. Don’t think that because something has worked with another, it will work with the significant other now.
Don’t get hung up on the words themselves. It’s about knowing each other better and understanding your relationship’s field of play. Once you know where the boundaries are, you can cut loose and have fun in your personal field of play.
Even though getting your partner to agree to ratchet up the level of dirty talk can appear to be a big hurdle, the real challenge is figuring out what to say once you have a green light.
90% of dirty talk covers what is being done at that time, so if you are at a complete loss for words, talk about what you’re doing. Don’t forget to talk about how it feels. Women are about feelings. They don’t have to be the emotional feelings either. Describe the physical sensations and what it’s doing to you and what you are getting her to do.
Even though adult films can be useful for some sex ideas, they aren’t known for their dialogue. Typically, there is little dirty talk. Again, you will likely have to resort to words to get inspiration. Erotic literature is the ticket, especially those written by women.
The reason? A female author will write what women want to hear. There are also a variety of other resources that can give you explicit examples you can use.
Once Again, Practice Some Foreplay
Don’t start by blurting out your juiciest, dirtiest phrases.
You have to tease her into the dirtier talk and ease down the path to the nastier side. You have to make sure she’s in the mood to play with dirty talk before you go full steam ahead.
Begin by telling her that something she’s wearing or doing is making you hard. It can start with even the most mundane tasks. Seriously. Imagine walking down the hall and catching her in the middle of scrubbing the bathtub down. Clearly, there’s a real image of some doggy style activity there as you watch. Instead of blurting out that you have to take her from behind right now, watch until she notices you. Then tell her you want her to continue to do what she’s doing, but instead of standing there like a letch, describe what the motions she’s doing is making you think and want.
There you go…simple housekeeping turns hot with some dirty talk to prime the pump.
You have to keep her guessing to keep her wanting more.
As with everything in life, the same thing over and over again (no matter how good) can make things seem ho-hum or like a contrived porn scene. That’s the last thing you want. You want each encounter to be a special time-out and not part of a routine or obligation.
Sure, you can use favorite phrases, but avoid a complete canned script that makes you look and sound like a broken record.
No Harm, No Foul
In the same way that you want to establish the level of comfort with your partner about boundaries and undesired phraseology, you also need to have a no harm, no foul outlook about the overall success of your dirty talk.
If something doesn’t work, say it makes your woman feel silly rather than sexy, don’t get torqued about it.
The simple act of experimenting creates greater intimacy between the two of you and opens the door to further exploration in all areas of your sex life.
While stage one sets the stage for coming attractions, the second category of foreplay is the start of your sexual encounter. Dirty talk can be a bridge between stages one and two. In fact, talk is at the top of most women’s foreplay list, which is why we covered it in a longer discussion. The more traditional view of foreplay transitions to hands-on activities.
Here, we’re going to explore foreplay tips from a female perspective. Of course, after talk, play with the lady parts ranks next, but there are some indirect pointers that can add sizzle to your playbook before heading straight south. After a handful of initial insights, there’s a longer discussion of pleasuring breasts and the vagina in ways that take the experience straight to steamy.
These insights into getting your partner’s motor running are common observations among the female population.
In many cases, these 8 seemingly random tips actually make getting to the more pleasurable activities easier and more enjoyable by laying an erotic foundation for your encounters.
Be Gentle and Tease
Don’t just jump in and go straight for her clit like it’s a timed safe cracking mission.
Although an animalistic session of playing the caveman and taking what you want can be fun for an intermittent change up, your goal is to be gentle and get her to relax into pleasure.
Pretend your woman is a Greek goddess to be worshipped and pampered. She’ll warm up faster and be far more willing to return the favor by treating you like her own Greek god.
Enjoy the Packaging
If your partner has dressed up in a lacy, skimpy, or racy outfit, appreciate it and her.
Appreciate it with your eyes, your words, and the rest of your body. One of the quickest ways to put out the burning embers is to ignore or not notice her efforts. If she’s worn an uncomfortable bra, thong, or outfit all day or night just because she envisions your reaction, you want to reward her efforts.
Otherwise, she’ll focus on what was the discomfort throughout the day rather than your attempts to pleasure her. Chances are, if you don’t appreciate, you’ll be seeing more granny panties than va-va-va-voom wear in your future.
Undress Her
It can be disappointing to a woman to have to chuck clothes quickly because a man is in a rush. Granted, there’s a time and place for the quick hit, but as a general rule, think of it like Christmas. You get to unwrap your present and enjoy the goodness inside.
Undressing a woman is indeed foreplay. You can play and tease simply by changing the speed and order in which you undress her. It builds her anticipation and gives you an excuse to put your hands in all the right places.
Be in the Moment
Haste makes waste, and skipping the steps of warming up your honey will disappoint both of you. If she’s not primed and wet enough, penetration will likely be more difficult for you, and it might even hurt her.
Take your time. It’s a marathon with an amazing finish line, not a sprint.
Use the Hands that God Gave You
Even though one hand may be used for balance in certain positions, if you’re not doing the balancing act, use both of your hands. If one hand is on a breast, use the other to mirror what you are doing or kick it up by using the other for another region. Don’t get lazy. The more you touch her, the faster and hotter she’ll get.
Multitask the Fun
When you are fingering your woman, don’t simply stare at her as she’s writhing. Watching can be erotic, but it can also be creepy, too. Often, men will forget to continue with kissing while pleasuring. Too much staring can make a woman feel like more of a science experiment than a sex partner. Be sure to multitask kissing and touching, even if you’re doing some watching as well.
Know When to Hold Your Tongue
There is a line between fun and sexy and just downright nasty. Kissing is not simply about tongue. Lips are meant to be involved as well. Other body parts can be revved up as much as cooled down by tongue miscues. Flicking an ear lobe with your tongue is a turn-on, making her feel like you are giving her a wet willy or cleaning out her ear is definitely not. Sliding your tongue along a neck and jugular can be very hot. Lapping her neck like a drooling dog or leaving hickeys are definite no-go activities.
Don’t give her a reason to regret your time together by making her show up to work with the tell-tale middle school mark on her neck.
Nibble a Bit
Soft, light bites on all areas of the body are hot. Ears, lips, nipples, inner thighs, neck, and shoulders are all prime candidates. Just make sure you are nibbling and not biting the skin as if it were meat coming off the bone.
Most importantly, when going downstairs, be sure to test your nibbling techniques and notice the feedback you receive. Some serious nibbling is craved but be careful that you don’t leave her lady parts feeling like leftover beef jerky.
Now, we move on to techniques that are specific to key areas of the female anatomy.
Even if you have been with your partner for a while, you can approach your next encounter as if it was the very first time to add some spice.
Every Breast is Not the Same
Each woman is different in her likes and dislikes. Similarly, each breast is different. In fact, it is not uncommon for a woman’s breasts to have differing sizes and even shapes. Know that what worked for one partner may not work with your current partner. Some woman want tenderness and a feather light touch. Others want it rougher with pinching and biting. Still others get off on a combination of the two.
Also, it is important to understand that at different times of the month, breasts may be more tender, so you’ll need to be willing to tailor your efforts to the moment.
Always Start with a Gentle Touch and Build on It
Instead of going straight for the nipple, be sure to touch the entire breast. Run your fingers around the outer edges where you get a glimpse of “side boob”. Trace the outline of the breasts and tease the cleavage area. Add some breaths over her nipples while doing it before working toward the nipples. Avoid grabbing, groping, and kneading…at least until things get hotter.
Be a Nipple Tease
No, don’t tickle or taunt the nipple. Instead touch and kiss the entire breast while ignoring the nipple. Feed that nipple jealousy with some more teasing breaths blows across it, but don’t touch it. The teasing will make it hard to control yourself as she begins to squirm and even beg. Don’t touch them until she’s completely writhing with need and the build-up will likely lead to an orgasm that will literally make her nipples tingle.
Pay Attention
Study her reactions. Notice what’s going on all over her body in the way she moans or breathes. Look for her flush. The breasts will also give you signs that you are doing it right. As blood floods to the breasts during arousal, they can swell up to 25%. The areolas often darken and the skin of the breast flushes as well.
Make it a Team Sport
Ask her to show you what she likes rather than just telling you. She gets a bit of a power trip being a teacher, and you both get the turn-on. Instruct her to touch herself as she likes it. During intercourse, have her touch her breasts as she rides you or reach around from behind with or without her help.
Make it an Experiment
Start with differences in temperature. Ice cubes directly on the breast can be almost painful and actually make them hotter. Different materials such as fur or feathers can be fun. For more adventurous women, nipple clamps may provide an element of restraint around their breasts, where the roughness increases feelings of sexiness.
Compliments Are Always Welcome
If you like what you see, don’t hold back. Complementing the ladies will make her feel comfortable in her skin and increase her sexual responses.
Now that you have her primed with talking, touching, and teasing, and the ladies have been given attention, it’s time to get to her core.
We’re not quite ready to go for the gold, but you’re getting her ready while enjoying the sport and challenge of it all. Although male anatomy is really straightforward, the lady parts are more of a puzzle. The following tricks can help you master that puzzle and leave her like putty in your hands.
Instead of going straight to her clit to get her off, you’re going to follow a similar approach to that of the breast play above. You won’t need to do all of these, all of the time. In fact, you want to keep a few of these tools in your tool box to add spice to future encounters.
Touch of Satin or Silk
If you haven’t already gotten her unwrapped, use her undies to add some friction to your touching. Satin or silk are better options for this than cotton or all lace. Rub her through the panties until she’s hot and then push them to the side. Don’t remove them. It gives a naughty feel to the experience that is a turn on. The bonus, the technique works great for more serendipitous encounters of the more public kind. Mmm, let’s say a road trip or maybe some under the table action, anyone?
The World in a Cup
Early in the foreplay session, you can begin to warm her up by simply slipping a hand downstairs, cupping her vagina, and lightly applying pressure. The outer region isn’t as sensitive as other areas, but it will start the blood flowing.
A Different Way to Awaken the Clitoris?
The mons pubis is the mound at the top of the pubic bone. By playing with the mound you can indirectly awaken the clitoris. Playing with any pubic hair that might be present is one form of stimulation. Another is to take the heel of your hand and press on the mound in a downward motion toward the clit.
Go for the Sweep
Another teaser in the early stages of warming up your partner is to sweep her entire vulva. The goal is to establish a regular rhythm that she wants to anticipate. There isn’t penetration. You simply do long, sweeping motions without stopping to touch everything.
Massage the Lips
Before going in for more, give the outer lips some attention. Granted, they’re not as sensitive, but the time and attention will still serve as a turn-on. Press the lips between your fingers and rub back and forth gently. Try a gentle tug upward as well.
A “Dry” Run
Some describe this as a twist on the cowgirl position. For this, you cup her rear while your partner sits on your inner arm with her vulva on your wrist. When her grinding finds a rhythm, you move your arm to match it. The sensation it gives is good for extra-sensitive women as the whole area is aroused rather than a single spot. Plus, you’ll never look at your arms the same way again. Giddy up!
Focus on the Opening
Once you’re ready to enter her with your fingers, take 2 or 3 fingers and rub against the walls of her vagina as well as going in and out. Most of the nerve endings in the vagina are in the lower third and by moving in a circular motion without taking them out completely, she will get a feeling of being really “full”. That’s a good thing!
Massage the Cervix
If your partner enjoys deep penetration, your penis isn’t the only thing that can reach. During arousal, the cervix does retract a bit, but your finger can reach it. Be gentle and massage the cervix with your finger. It can be highly sensitive, so you need to be careful and make sure she’s comfortable.
G-Spot
The typical technique use for locating a woman’s G-spot is to insert a finger, palm up, and use the “come here” finger motion for stimulation. That can be a hit or miss strategy. The G-spot can be tricky and not necessarily front and center. It may be higher or lower or to either side. Instead, make sure she is wet before inserting 2 fingers and massage as much of the area as possible. If she properly primed, the G-spot will be a little rough and raised area inside. If she’s not revved, you’re trying mission impossible.
Circles
Before jumping straight to her clit, tease. Lube the tip of your finger with either your saliva or a dip into her vagina. Circle the clit with firm, steady pressure. It’s one of the most popular female masturbation moves, so you can use it on her, too.
Open the Hood
Much like foreskin on a penis, the clitoris has a covering flap of skin when a woman isn’t aroused. The hood is an extension of her inner lips. Before she’s fully aroused, it’s a piece that is begging for some attention. To find it, use a well lubed fingertips and trace the inner lips until you find the fold just above her clit. Stroke it. When she wants direct contact with her clit, use your thumb to push the hood toward her belly button.
Do Your Piano Lessons
With your index finger on one side and your middle finger on the other side of her clit, move your fingers as if you are alternating between keys on a piano. Rhythm equals pleasure, but alternate between back and forth and side to side. To up the stakes, move a finger to the top of the clit for a more intense feeling.
Full Swirly
Side-to-side and up-and-down are proven winners, but to really get the full bang out of it all, add 2 more moves. Lightly pinch the clitoris and then rub it in a circular motion between your fingers like you are finishing the roll of an old school cigarette or wadding up an item between your fingers. This hits all of her hot spots rather than one or two.
When in Doubt, Enter the Show Me State of Mind
Watching her is the best way to learn what she likes and what works for her. It can be embarrassing for some women though. You’ll need to be sexy, accepting, and willing rather than looking confused, baffled, lost, or judgmental. Instead of simply having her perform for you, have her take your hand and guide it. Just remember, you’re supposed to be learning along the way, too.
Giving oral is most definitely more challenging for men than it is to receive it.
Again, anatomy presents more of a puzzle when it comes to the female side of things. When you are receiving, you know it’s mostly about providing feedback about what’s working for you in a manner that allows for playful experimentation.
To get your partner to give you better head, it really is a matter of simply talking and letting her learn. If your woman is already comfortable with oral, there really is no problem in coaching and experimenting. Just ask.
Women do like to get good at what they do to. Conversely, asking a woman what she likes can be more challenging because of shyness or embarrassment.
For that reason, there are 7 steps presented to maximize the party down south.
Step 1. The Comfort Zone
You must first understand that your partner is only going to enjoy your efforts if she is relaxed.
Women can be extremely self-conscious about all facets of the experience from how she smells and tastes to how long it can take for her to come. Tell her to get comfortable and never make a reference to the fact you feel like your tongue may fall off if she doesn’t orgasm quickly.
Let her know it’s about pleasure and there’s no rush. Let her know in words and/or mannerisms that when you are between her legs, you are in your favorite spot in the world. There’s nothing sexier.
Step 2. Positioning
If your partner has a favorite position, by all means use it, but don’t be shy about making other suggestions. Something as simple as adding a pillow under her butt will lift her pelvis closer to you for better leverage, and it opens her up further. Experiment with your positioning as well. Often kneeling with a pillow under your knees will allow you to go to town without straining your lower back. Don’t forget options such as having her straddle your face or trying the notorious 69. You’ll know she’s coming when she wraps herself harder around both you and your member.
Step 3. Tease
Do not go to full guns when you go down. Tease her and heighten her sensations. Don’t just entertain her clitoris, give attention to her inner thighs, her lips, her mound, etc. Start with blowing on her and fleeting licks. Work into increasing the pressure, intensity, and speed of your efforts. Women take time to warm up, so you can’t go from zero to hero immediately.
Step 4. Use Your Ears
No, not literally. Pay attention to her breathing. Let her know all is well and allow her to express herself as she sees fit. Also, how she’s moving her hips will let you know if she’s into it all. If you’re not paying attention to her body language for feedback, you might as well be masturbating to a porn flick. It is indeed a team sport.
Step 5. Toy with Her
Given the length of time it can take for a woman to achieve an orgasm (roughly 20 minutes on average for oral), there’s no shame in using her favorite vibrator to help with the big O. The best ones are smaller so that you can still be in control and participate. By putting a smaller vibrator on her clitoris, you can slather attention on the rest of her labia. You can also use your fingers for vaginal stimulation while mouthing her clitoris.
Step 6. The Build Up
As she builds toward climax, increase the speed and pressure of your endeavor. Learn which motions she prefers most. Some want up and down rhythm whereas others like side to side. In other cases, more of a swirling motion will be what she craves most. Do not jab at her like you are jousting. At this point, she is extra sensitive. Pretend that you are licking a lollypop. You can also pretend you are writing the alphabet if you need further inspiration.
Step 7. The “Oh, Baby!”
As she’s closing in on her orgasm, do what you’re doing. Now’s not the time to switch things up unless you want to leave her hanging. If you change it up now, all your effort may go for naught as she stops feeling and starts thinking again. If she doesn’t come, don’t see it as a failure. The goal is to make her feel good. Women are indeed different animals when it comes to orgasms. Sometimes, she won’t go over the edge, no matter what you try.
The trick is to enjoy the ride wherever it takes you.
When it comes to her going down on you, be sure that you are always accepting and appreciative. As awkward as you may feel, or may have once felt, going down on a woman, know that it can be as challenging for a woman.
If there is something you want, gently coach her. Men often prefer deep throating, and wonder why women don’t just swallow it all in one shot. One reason women tend to focus on your head, instead of your whole shaft, is because of the noticeable receptivity that using a tongue on the head creates. The throbbing feedback is a turn on for her as much as for you.
Be sure not to rush her away from that kind of play because you want her to enjoy the experience, too. The more she enjoys it, the more likely you are to get more.
If she continues to focus on the single area and you need something more, a breathy statement of “go deep” will be enough to get her to refocus. For an added bonus, without explicitly asking for a hummer, ask her questions when she has you deep. You want yes or no questions as in “do you like that?” or “do you know what you’re doing to me right now?” Chances are, she’ll answer with a pleasurable “uh-umm”.
Oral can also be heightened by being performed in a standing position. The need for blood to flow up and down your legs as you stand enhances the blood flow to the groin as well. Don’t just limit oral activities to the reclined position. Experiment with standing, and while you’re at it, take the activity to other locations to spice things up more.
Here, a bonus tip for positioning during oral. Have your partner lie on the bed (or table even) on her back with her head over the side. Have her perform on you in the upside down position for added excitement. You’ll get a different visual and have the chance to play with her breasts and body as she pleasures you.
Taking Your Orgasm to the Next Level
Before we get into full penetration, it is important to cover your ability to delay gratification.
Many refer to this as avoiding premature ejaculation, but there is a difference. Premature ejaculation is usually part of an underlying a medical condition. Delaying gratification is about learning to control your ability to come to lengthen the experience. Although today’s society has become familiar with the various prescriptions and supplements a man can use to stay hard, controlling your ejaculation can be a learned experience. Chances are, if you’ve gotten past high school, you’ve already had some practice in reining in your groin. However, some of the techniques for taking your orgasm to the next level do not include steps to delay gratification, but rather, are types for learning more about your own pleasure zones.
Did you know that you have the ability to have multiple orgasms, too? Your taint, or perineum, is the ticket to multiple rounds. The skin between your balls and your butt is where you can stimulate your prostate gland externally. The prostate is the male G-spot. The area is extra sensitive because of all the nerve-endings in the region, and with a little pressure from you or your partner, you may find that you can have multiple go-arounds, too. If you’re feeling adventurous, you partner can do a little anal probing with a lubed finger. With the pad of her finger, she can locate it about 2 inches inside. It is a small almond-sized lump of nerve endings that is highly sensitive to pressure and rubbing.
Kegel exercises are well known to women who want to strengthen vaginal organisms, but did you know men can benefit from them, too? A kegel is a way of contracting the muscles in the pelvic floor so that you have greater control and more intensity during intercourse. Two methods for male kegels are to try lifting your penis up and down with only your muscles (no hand jobs here). Another option is to try to write your ABCs with the tip of your penis…again, no hands.
Give your sack a lift before coming. If you press your testicles upward gently just before you ejaculate, it can be highly arousing. This is because your testicles rise up near your body to give you more ejaculation power. Have your partner place her palm on your balls, moving them a little closer to your body. It’ll heighten your arousal and increase the intensity of your orgasm.
Finally, there is an excuse to do those manly man things, even if your partner complains a bit. Lifting weights, exercising, watching an ultra-masculine movie or TV show, or even football, increases the level of testosterone in your system. When you have more testosterone in your blood, you are more likely to come hard in every way.
The “easiest” way to learn to delay gratification is to use a technique called “edging”. The term easiest is in quotes for a reason. It can be challenging initially but practice does make for a better result. The process of edging involves taking yourself to the brink of ejaculation and then stopping stimulation to prolong your erection. You will not completely forego ejaculating, you will simply delay it. This is not a blue balls sentence. The purpose is to train yourself to handle certain levels of discomfort and need for longer and longer periods of time to build to a greater climax.
When you are on the verge of ejaculating and want to delay it, there are three ways to buy yourself additional time. Focus on your breathing. This is what much of tantric practice is focused on. Begin by breathing in for 6 counts. Hold the breath for 6 counts, and then release it for 6 counts. Do this for as long as you can. It’s actually a form of meditation that helps refocus your thoughts, too, which is part of the delaying process. That is pretty straightforward, so there is no real need to discuss how to refocus your thoughts. Just continue to focus on your breathing in the 6 count increments until you are ready to pursue another round of arousal or release.
If you are looking to delay during your time with a partner, one of the easiest and most fun ways to buy some time is to change positions or methods of stimulation. The need to reposition will serve to reset your clock from your groin to your head as the transition occurs. By adding a few cycles of the measured breathing, you can add time to get your partner situated comfortably before going to town once again.
An additional trick that can be used to delay ejaculation is to squeeze the head of your penis. Focus on putting pressure on the urethra, the tube along under the penis. This will inhibit your ejaculation impulse and allow your arousal to subside. You can repeat the arousal and squeeze a few times before climaxing.
Countless books and resources exist from the earliest written word on various sex positions. The Kama Sutra most likely being the most recognizable. You don’t have to know all positions in it, which are 64 total (but who’s counting). In fact, it is a misconception that the Kama Sutra is just about sex acts.
Do some research. You’ll be surprised at everything the book covers about relations. The other tradition that is widely discussed is tantric sex. With tantric, the goal is to bring yourself to the brink of release without a full orgasm to extend and intensify the experience.
These two resources can fill volumes of books, but this is meant to be more of a practical handbook for increasing enjoyment of your sexual experiences. As a result, this will cover a handful of techniques and positions to increase your bedroom toolkit without feeling like you are studying for a doctorate in sexuality.
As with the other elements of sex, begin by teasing your partner. It can start by simply pressing yourself against her and grinding a bit to let her experience your level of arousal. Penetration is best when the woman is sufficiently wet or properly lubed before entry. If the level of wetness is lacking, one option is to have your partner go down on you to use her saliva as a lubricant.
Begin with shallow thrusts with your head just inside her opening. The majority of her nerve endings are in this region, so by spending some time focused on this area you, stimulate her to further wetness, and she gets that sensation of be filled up with you, which will turn her on more. Gradually work deeper and thrust harder to increase the build-up. Unless this is a moment where she has screamed “do me now”, and wants to be pounded because she’s had your penis on her mind for a while, it is always better to work up the intensity gradually to avoid discomfort or pain on her part.
A simple penetration technique used for centuries to build intensity, sensitivity, and pleasure is a countdown of sorts. You could call this the “rocket man” technique for thrusting. Begin at either 7 or 10, depending how long you want to delay the climax. For the first series, you are going to go at about half speed and half thrust starting at ten. Do 9 thrusts as such and on the tenth, go 100% deep and hard. The next series, you will go for 8 halves with the big thrust on 9. Continue the series as a countdown until you get to 1 for 1. If you and she haven’t come yet, then it’s no holds barred until you’re both spent. The rhythm with the slight variation works to both the male and female tendencies for building to an orgasm. This technique can work for any position. Just note, if you are aiming for multiple positions, you will need to focus on your control as you near the final thrust to stay hard for the next scenario.
There’s no need to go over the tried and true positions such as missionary, doggy, cowgirl (either type), etc. This is to help spice up things for you, not rehash very common knowledge. Although a discussion on all the possible positions is not feasible either, we’ll cover seven positions that you can add to your sexual repertoire as early as now.
7 Positions to Try Tonight (or all week)
Tripod
The Tripod is perfect for a quickie because it isn’t about deep penetration, but it is tailored for short and fast, hot fun. It’s best if both partners are closer in height. Stand, facing each other. Put your hand under one of her knees and raise it off the floor, turning the two of you into a tripod. Enter her while standing. It will get the maximum blood flow to both of your erogenous zones for both function and pleasure. You can also do this against a wall for more stability, which brings us to the next position.
Wall Flower
Have your partner lean her back against a wall while standing and spread her legs as wide as she can. You enter her. The level of eye contact is high, which increases feeling of intimacy. Shorter partners may have to stand on something because the position lowers her, or a taller male can kneel and thrust. Because of the additional back support, this allows for some of the deepest penetration possible.
Lock & Load
If you’ve been keeping up with your workouts, this position gives you pleasure and bragging rights. Again, the assistance of a wall may come in handy as well. Lift her up, locking your elbows under her knees. Grab her butt while she locks her arms around your neck. This gives deep penetration and eye contact while making you look like a hero.
Cannonball
This is an easy position that makes her feel tighter to you. Have her lie back and pull her knees to her chest. Place her feet on your chest as you kneel in front of her. Put your knees on either side of her hips. Raise her hips onto your thighs (or add a pillow under her butt) to enter her.
Fusion
Sit facing your partner with your legs out. Your partner will straddle you while sitting with her butt between your legs. Have her put her legs on your shoulders and use her arms to lift her butt off the bed. She’ll be able to grind, even in circles, while still giving you the ability to thrust. If her arms tire, add pillows under her butt for support. The tension and ease of motion will lead to quicker orgasms.
Head Rush
This will involve a lower bed, couch, coffee table, or ottoman type of furniture piece. You will lay back with your head and shoulders on the floor or over the side. Have her straddle and ride you in either the cowgirl or reverse cowgirl position. You will get a different visual and the blood rushing to your other head will lead to a mind blowing climax.
Girl’s Turn
This one is a little more of an equal opportunity position to add variety to your sexual workout. If you love the view from behind, give your partner an equal chance. No, it’s not about a strap on, relax. It can be a bit challenging but also quite rewarding as a change-up, especially if she has a thing for the junk in your trunk. Have her lie on her back. You’re going to straddle facing away toward her feet and placing your knees on either side of body. She’s going to then wrap her legs around your back and elevate herself so that you can enter. She can grab your butt to help you slide back and forth. The penetration may be shallow but the challenge and variation give the position its own hotness factor.
It’s hard (pun intended) to define what kink really is. After all, one man or woman’s kink and another person’s everyday ho-hum. What’s weird to one is common to another. This is more about introducing ideas and how you can continue to spice up your relationship.
You want to spice things up. You may have some ideas of turn-ons or you may simply want to explore your options. Like with introducing the notion of dirty talk to your partner (which may be seen as kinky to some), introducing the use of more kink can be daunting. There is a right way and a wrong way to introduce the topic into your conversations.
The wrong way: “There’s something weird I want to try.” Saying something like this just makes you creepy and raises her defenses when you really want the exact opposite.
The right way: “I’m curious about [fill in the blank]. What do you think about it?” Don’t give her a yes/no, are you in/out type of question. It’s far too easy to do a knee jerk veto to stop an awkward conversation with a yes or no question. You want to learn about what she thinks about the possibility and what she may consider doing.
Do not simply pull out the whips, chains, blindfolds, or other toys in the heat of the moment. It may work in movies or erotic literature, but chances are, she’ll be frightened or surprised enough that you won’t be experimenting for years to come, if ever. Sorry, guys, you have to have yet another talk. Bring the topic up in a comfortable, private setting. Begin with suggesting more tame scenarios, role playing and fantasies are good. Suggest a day as a French maid or hit eBay for a Starbucks apron and offer to be her personal barista with only your apron on. Set up a date where you play like you’re different people meeting for the first time, even having an affair on yourselves as the other identities.
You can also introduce the topic by asking her what she’s into or what she wants. When it’s your turn, validate what she had to say. If your suggestions are steamier, be positive and confident because if you look weirded out and unsure, she’ll just become nervous. Also, explain that these are things to spice things up and not activities that need to be performed all the time. That takes the pressure off and leads to more willingness to experiment. If she vetoes your ideas, do not fight her on it. She’ll simply dig in more. If you roll with it, you may find more cooperation at a later time.
Green Light: Time to Do Your Homework
If she’s given a green light to spicing things up, it’s time for you to do your homework, and it should be done together. Start with sharing erotica in films or books and discussing what sounds good and what doesn’t. If she’s reluctant to watch porn with you and that’s what you want, start with mild films and reassure her that even though the stranger on the screen may be arousing, you can’t wait for her to be the one to reap the benefits.
If there are activities one of you or neither of you have done, do research together. If you are going to introduce anal, a new type of sex toy, etc., into the bedroom then study up on it. There are some definite things to do and not do.
Establish both of your boundaries for when to continue and when to quit in any situation. The most common strategy is to pick a safe word that signals your partner, no matter what, to stop whatever is going on, no questions asked. A safe word should be a term that would not be expected to pop up in a normal encounter. Do not use pet names or even the word no, because in some role playing “no” is considered “more” or “continue”. Pick a more random word such as “pomegranate” or “bookcase” to avoid mixed messages.
The Show Begins
Doing the homework can be considered both foreplay for kink as well as part of the kink itself. Maybe a trip to the adult toy store yields a fun trip as you both explore options without necessarily making new purchases at first. Shop and talk about what each of you thinks about what the item involves. With or without new toys, the conversation can be a fun and stimulating conversation in itself.
If there are specific activities or toys that you both agree on adding, take your time to build your toy box. You may not have the room for a personal dungeon for your exploits, but you can have a special box, bin, or drawer that holds all your fun. If you have kids around, having your sex box can avoid seriously awkward moments of unintended discoveries. Plus, it can serve as a kind of primal, Pavlovian thing. When you or your partner brings out the collection, it’s an automatic sign of fun to come without having to have the “do you want to” discussion.
Unless you and your partner have the exact same desires, try a “her night” and “his night” approach. Let her have one of her desires on a “her night” and then trade on the next experimentation session.
Afterglow
After you have exercised your inner submissive, dominant, or most secret fantasy, make sure that you show your partner appreciation. It doesn’t matter how successful, or not, the activity was. Hug her. Kiss her. Thank her. You don’t need to talk about the experience right away. In fact, a day or two to process may be better. Then ask what she liked and didn’t like. Remember, your relationship is more important than any single encounter. Feeling satisfied and willing to continue to experiment, even if it’s only being heard about what didn’t work, will result from you being open and listening to her feedback.
Here are some ideas to get you started on kinkifying your sessions. They aren’t mutually exclusive, and they aren’t in any particular order. They are simply some starting points. Enjoy using your and your partner’s creativity to make your encounters uniquely their own.
Talk It Up
Though dirty talk was covered in the section on foreplay, it is definitely a way to add heat to the before, during, and after of any experience.
Spanking
Is she good or bad…it doesn’t matter. Spanking can be a turn on. Start gently. Always be mindful of her comfort level. Start with your hand and if she’s into it, add other toys for different sensations.
Blindfolds
Everyone knows that if you remove one sense, the other senses are heightened. Plus, it adds mystery to everything. Blindfolds can be as simple as scarves or as elaborate as specially designed wear.
Tie Me Up/Tie Me Down
Tying a partner up or down can turn up the heat. Bondage can be as simple as a scarf that binds hands together. If you’re starting with bondage, that’s the way to go. Don’t go straight for handcuffs, leather, or leashes and collars. Enjoy working your way to the level of intensity that excites you both the most. Remember, if you decide to start using handcuffs, keep the key in an easy to remember place. You wouldn’t believe the increase in the number of calls to fire and police after 50 Shades of Grey became popular. Then again, maybe having emergency personnel come release a captive is a fantasy as well.
Road Trip
Change locations. Quickies are often hottest in a spot where there is the potential to be discovered. Office visit, anyone? If you are taking your show on the road, don’t forget the journey itself. There’s something that can rev your engines while your car travels the open road, too.
Girls on Film
Maybe all the film viewing inspires you and your partner to do your own special production. Film yourself. Just be sure that you keep the evidence secure to avoid headaches later. If film is too permanent, maybe a little webcam action as a solo star for a partner on a business trip or as a starring couple between computers can add sizzle. Again, just be sure to protect yourself from unwanted discoveries or prying eyes.
Role Playing
What’s your turn on? Sexy librarian? Naughty Nurse? What’s hers? Greek God? Pool boy? Dirty Doctor? Messy Mechanic? Act on it.
Anal
Interested in exploring the backdoor? Anal sex is become more mainstream every day. Be sure to use a lot of lube. Do not finish with vaginal sex without cleaning off from anal sex because of the risk of various infections. If your penis is larger, you may have more difficulties with anal sex as the anal opening is more prone to tearing and is not as accommodating as the vagina. In that case, fingering may have to suffice. Respect what your partner says is welcome and comfortable.
Squirting
Though it is technically a biological process, squirting or female ejaculation, has some degree of kinkiness attached to it. As a woman becomes aroused and wet, she can actually experience an ejaculation. Some squirting is simply an appearance of moisture while other ejaculations can actually involve the force enough to eject fluid from the vagina an inch or so. If you are interested in experiencing the phenomenon with your partner, ask her if she has experienced it before. Trust me, women know their bodies and they know what happens when they get wet and excited. If she hasn’t or doesn’t know, the easiest time to experience squirting is in the days around her ovulation because the body is designed for an added level of secretions at that time. The trick is to get her extremely turned on without penis penetration first. Just remember, if you don’t want a little bundle to take home in the coming months, it is also the time she is most likely to become pregnant.
Show Me
Something as simple as a full length mirror next to the bed or other location will allow you to get a visual of the action like you can from video.
Take the Remote
There are tons of toys for your potential enjoyment. Vibrators of all shapes and sizes are available. For added fun, get a remote controlled vibrator and have your partner wear it out on your next outing. Making her knees go wobbly will bring smiles to both of your faces.
For a different sensation, freeze a glass dildo and use it on her to warm it back up again.
Remember to wash your sex toys after every use. It’s not about STDs. It’s about other germs that can build up. Glass and waterproof toys can actually go through the dishwasher…just be sure the toys are put away before your next meal time. That’s something you don’t want to explain to family or guests.
Keep Your Clothes On
There’s something sexy and apparently “wrong” about having sex when still clothed. Pants around the ankles and skirt up over the hips ratchet up the heat.
Take It Public
This piggybacks on the previous idea. Get pleasuring in public. Return to high school days with a make out session or full freak in the back of the car. Take it under the table in the corner booth of your favorite date night restaurant. Go all out trying new positions in a dressing room. There is also, of course, the mile high club. Have fun.
All Natural
Again, this is another variation of the previous concept. Go all out in the great outdoors. There’s something to feeling the wind on your nooks and crannies and the sun on your face as you go animal style.
I See You
Test the limits with some voyeurism. Maybe you want to get caught by having your encounter close to the open door or window of your house or hotel room. Maybe you get busy in a shared vacation space. Maybe you watch others. It all can be a turn on.
Bon Appetite
Food is always fun and the bedroom is no exception. Foods with various consistencies (creamy, gooey, juicy, etc.) are fun to explore with and using a blindfold can make it even more fun. In addition to consistencies, explore different temperatures. Cold can create a special type of pain that is actually pleasurable. Warm items can help relax and defrost a partner as well.
Hair Pulling
Some people love to have their hair pulled during the throes of passion. Tug but don’t yank, unless they say so. Don’t forget the hair down there, if there is any. Pubic hair pulling can stimulate the clitoris.
Scratch Me…Bite Me
This type of kink most definitely needs prior approval because of the marks that can be left on a partner afterward. Scratching doesn’t have to mean drawing blood; it may be a simple back scratch, like a massage. As covered before, nibbling is almost always welcome, but full scale bites need to be requested. If she asks or says yes, go ahead and get your vamp on. Otherwise, stick with the nibbles.
You’ve come a long way, baby. (Sorry, had to get that last pun in.) Sex is the most universal human experience, and yet, it is the one that people are most likely to keep quiet about, especially with members of the opposite sex. In reality, we – both men and women – want the same thing, a fun and satisfying sex life. Although the anatomical differences between the genders make for a bit of a learning curve, be it a fun one, the basics are essentially the same. Partners need to feel comfortable enough to be open and honest about their needs and desires. When the trust is established in a relationship, the sky is truly the limit as to what the sexual possibilities are that a couple can entertain.
You’ve gone from learning a little bit about the elusive female mind to elements of foreplay to get both partners motors running. Foreplay is critical to a mind blowing encounter for both of you, though a hard, fast quickie can mix things up, too. Elements of giving and receiving oral, as well as ways to enhance your own orgasms led up to the discussion on penetration and positions. Though there are a multitude of positions and we only covered a handful, the goal was to ignite the sense of adventure, creativity, and exploration that makes sex and relationships all the more rewarding. Speaking of experimenting, the overview introducing the more naughty side of the boudoir to spice up your encounters was also just a starting point for your personal experiences. It wasn’t meant to be the end all, be all on the topic, but a practical, easy to implement guide to getting more of what you desire.
With that, we return to the original metaphor for the whole book. You’ve gone from starting your engines, doing a few parade laps, getting the green flag to wave, handling a couple of pit stops for adjustments, and now, you are rewarded with your checkered flag. Enjoy victory lane!
A Free Gift To Say Thank You
As my way of saying “thank you” for buying my book I wanted to put together an awesome free gift for you.
The Aphrodisiac Recipe Cookbook
Some people say cooking is the way to heart, so I wanted to put together some recipes that will spice up your love life, fuel your passion and add gasoline to the fire of your relationship.
Enjoy,
Aubrey
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Disclaimer and Terms of Use: Effort has been made to ensure that the information in this book is accurate and complete, however, the author and the publisher do not warrant the accuracy of the information, text and graphics contained within the book due to the rapidly changing nature of science, research, known and unknown facts and internet. The Author and the publisher do not hold any responsibility for errors, omissions or contrary interpretation of the subject matter herein. This book is presented solely for motivational and informational purposes only.